101 Things To Do Before You Leave Vietnam

Whether you love it or hate it, Vietnam is wacky, wonderful and full of activities just waiting to be experienced. So to help you get the most out of your time here, even if you’re a lifer, we give our pick of the things you should do before you leave. Just don’t forget to turn the lights out. Words by Gemma Price.

Written by The Word Ho Chi Minh City
Wednesday, 04 March 2009 17:47
For anyone who complains that life in this country is boring, time to think again. We give you 101 things to do, see and experience before you leave Vietnam. 01 Eat a whole animal or at least a whole body made up of different animals. Sheep eyes, chicken intestines, oxtail soup, bull or goat penis hot pot, pig’s brain soup and so on. Maybe draw a picture and colour in the bits as you get chomping. 02 Spend a whole day drinking bia hoi or the local rhum on the streets, all without puking. And if you’re going to get down on the good stuff, Ta Hien in Hanoi or Bui Vien in Saigon are the places to go. 03 Get yourself some cosmetic surgery. Vietnam’s top two operations are boob and butt implants, but why stop there? Sign up for a nose job, tummy tuck, chin reshaping and save yourself a few thousand dollars in the bargain. 04 Although the thought of someone zapping your retinas might make your eyes water, the figures are in your favour. An estimated one in 10,000 patients suffer less eye problems as a result of lasik surgery, whereas one in 100 contact lens wearers are at risk of developing a serious eye infection after 30 years of use. They also have a one in 2,000 chance of suffering vision loss as a result. And at VND7.5million per eye, it’s half the price as Bangkok. 05 Finish off your massage with an ear cleaning (not a happy ending) at a local salon. You have to do it once. 06 Get smooth and silky by investing in a course of IPL (Intense Pulse Light) hair removal. Safe and relatively painless, spas that specialise in this procedure usually also offer other treatments for improving the appearance of sunspots, wrinkles and scars. 07 Ditch the Nha Trang crowds and catch some rays at unspoiled Cam Ranh bay instead. Now that the airport road is open, it’s easy to reach and you can be sure your enjoyment of the white sand and crystal clear waters won’t be interrupted by someone hassling you to buy a coconut, a miniature fan or fake sunglasses. 08 Join the Minsk Club in Hanoi and head north to participate in one of their regular jaunts or even the annual Minsk Olympics. If the locals can shift a fridge freezer, a 52-inch LCD TV or a family of six with ease through Vietnam’s traffic, surely you’re up to a scenic drive and a mini-obstacle course with a mammoth hangover. Visit www.minskclubvietnam.com for more information. 09 Jump on a xe om with a film camera and record footage of peak hour traffic through the city, especially around the Ba Thang Hai or Nguyen Trai roundabouts. But do it sitting backwards on the motorbike. 10 Get boozed up with local exotic wines. The choice of preserved animals in a jar is pretty impressive and can range from seahorses, scorpions and snakes to monkeys or even bears. It may be politically incorrect, but if you believe the testimonials, one sip will make you a demon between the sheets. 11 Crash a wedding, or better yet, a funeral – people stay longer, get drunker and have more fun. 12 Indulge in a barbeque, Vietnamese-style. We’ll-cook-anything restaurants can be found in every district of the city, where juicy cuts of meat from dogs, alligators and ostriches jostle for grill space with crispy cockroaches, frog steaks and weevils. Truong Sa Quan Restaurant, 3 Dien Bien Phu, just over the bridge in Binh Thanh, has a particularly extensive, stomach churning menu. 13 Savour those last days as a tourist. Buy some kem from a bike cart and spend an afternoon taking in the sights by cyclo. Breeze down the apothecary street in District 5, the Ho Thi Ky flower market or even venture out to Districts 6, 12 or Hoc Mon, places most foreigners don’t ever see. 14 Enjoy the twinkling city lights (minus the traffic noise) as you take a romantic dinner cruise on the Saigon River. Hitch a ride on the Bonsai and you’ll get live music to boot. 15 Go wakeboarding on the Saigon River. Just be sure to put yourself on a course of broad spectrum antibiotics afterwards. 16 Take the train along the length of the Vietnamese coast. Time consuming, yes, but a great way to see the country. 17 Take a local lady for a spin across the dance floor. Maxim’s on Dong Khoi has a full complement of “professional” dancers willing to partner you for all your favourite ballroom classics. 18 Experience Vietnam’s answer to Disney, just 45 minutes from Saigon at Dai Nam Theme Park - a 20-hectare combination of amusement rides, zoo and water park (to come). Dai Nam is located in Binh Duong Province, 35km from Ho Chi Minh City, on Highway 13. Local bus number 18 runs daily between the Ben Thanh Market bus depot and Dai Nam. Visit www.laccanhdainamvanhien.vn for more information. To see the full '101 Things' please go to the March 2009 print edition of The Word. Copyright (C) 2009 The Word HCMC. All rights reserved The Word HCMC Copyright (C) 2009 The Word HCMC. All rights reserved."